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PAPA 'E MAMMA IS THE ULTRAS

" courtesy of 'author and Gazzetta dello Sport " Schedule juvenile fights, curses, insults free, perpetual conflict between referees and parents with these past who are not resigned to the role of spectators, and even to repudiate educators. The phenomenon of 'parent-fans', who often cross the line of decency, is growing exponentially. But what is happening? How come the number of practitioners increases and decreases the sports culture? One answer is given by Annamaria Meterangelis, a former national junior basketball, a psychologist and professor of psychobiology Sport (Sport Science-Cassino). "Everybody wants to win and one defeat in sport is perceived as if it was a defeat in life. Our generation grew up knowing only the laws of the sweat and fair comparison with the group and with the opponents. The defeats and victories have given us the opportunity to recognize the skills of others through which we intimately our capabilities and our limitations, and accepting some, and others. The feedback at the most was that of parental 'effort, and our sins were always and never the other. Now applies the law of abuse of power, the arrogance of easy conquest and, in the face of defeat, live dramas are exaggerated. " Many parents are unable to accept that their children play carefree, have fun, compare properly, and why not, lose. Thus we find fathers who, clinging like monkeys to the networks of enclosure of the fields where their children play soccer, screaming like madmen against all odds, the little intimidating opponents, threatening the coach. The party of parents who want to win at all cost is unfortunately prevalent, and so we find ourselves in that field eleven, mimicking the gestures of the samples, stage simulations, insulting friends, opponents and referees, trigger reactions, causing clashes. But the consequences of such attitudes are not limited to these entr'actes more or less bleak. I am very much more serious. Families and parents 'disturbed' produce maladjusted children and then adults. And athletes unable to cope with the anxieties of the race and the extreme uncertainty that permeates all that sporty. In short, athletes losers. " Although the family is no longer the only ones privileged education - continues Meterangelis - that today is largely delegated to other institutions such as kindergartens, schools, associations, it remains the unique melting pot of personalities. And 'now a given in psychology found that, in order to successfully walk the rugged life, you must have internalized the certainty of a mother and a healthy emulation identification with the father image. Often, conversely, the function that many parents provide their children with respect - too harshly or permissiveness, denial or alienation - leading to negative teaching behaviors that have a strong impact on personality development in childhood. type parental behavior Effects on child Parents iperesigenti Their expectations very strong and tend to push the child to continually perfection and excellence. Swimming: a mother sitting on the sidelines of the pool complete with a stopwatch, record all times of the child and at the end of training with the tedious list of errors which, he said, would have been swimming. This triggers in the child a sense of anxiety, inferiority complexes, insecurities and an increasingly uphill path that leads to an end in itself. Parents identifiers seeing the child as an extension of themselves and expect that those achievements have not been able to achieve. Fitness Centre. Father and son chubby eleven, his copy, either on the treadmill. Father with little resistance, his son Max. The boy is about to drop. Spoke the instructor to avoid the worst. The child is forced to identify with the image that parents have of him will have great difficulty in creating its own identity. Parents rulers are very strict, punitive, beset with threats and constant pressure, pushing him toward a more optimal performance and to obedience and submission. Minibasket: a guy on the stairs every time he touches the ball the play shouting 'run fat'. After the match, it turns out that the screamer is the father of the 'fat', which otherwise is also thin. The child will have so little independence of thought and mature a little weak and I need confirmation. Parents iperindulgenti are those, on the contrary, over-protective and too permissive, that their children tend to avoid obstacles and difficulties. Third Class Football: The referee awards a free-kick. A player, a maximum of thirteen expresses its disappointment at the decision with an oath. The father stands up, claps his hands to his son and then, in turn, begins to curse against the referee. Again, the child will become dependent, developing a personality, weak and insecure. Parents antagonists Parents who allegedly refused 'psychologically' son. Youth Games: Football. One parent passes the full 90 minutes to read the newspaper not caring about the exploits of his heir, except move it away at the end saying, "You're a great blowjob, you better change sport This non-acceptance, unwittingly, leads to aggressive behavior. study The fact that a successful athlete is an individual 'safe' in that it goes back to a 'capital of certainty' deposited in childhood experiences, which can always draw on, is something that can be seen from the results obtained by applying a series of tests on a group of Olympic champions. Smith and Anderson have noted in their research as these athletes were characterized by self-sufficiency, a good self-image and a good resistance to frustration and a confident and optimistic attitude towards life. A healthy culture of defeat sport is because we learn not only to win also and above all losing and winning does not mean defeat the other, means being committed to the best, means deal with unforeseen difficulties since not everything can be planned around a table. "A" healthy "culture of defeat has inside some educational value, since it represents an opportunity to rework" experiences "experiential - precise Meterangelis - with the knowledge that there will be other opportunities to experiment. Loyalty, solidarity, sacrifice, tolerance, respect for rules and opponents, acceptance of defeat are values \u200b\u200bthat stimulate and regulate their behavior, they teach to manage emotions and affection, which help to improve the relationship with oneself and with others . All this in a psychology perspective, is emerging as a proactive way to build self-esteem and leading naturally to a mature and balanced aware . October 5, 2007 Mabel Bocchi